(I will post something of substance soon, but this sounded really fun and I couldn't pass it up.)


Put your MP3 player on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-one is the title.

"I Heard the Sound of Your Voice"

I've got a secret
The Sylvia Plath story is told to girls who write
Arriverderci Roma
I, I went off to the right
I had a dream
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come around
When the world is darker than I can understand
On a Monday, I am waiting, on a Tuesday I am fading
Another head hangs lonely
I used to think I had the answers to everything
Where are you going?
So tired of broken hearts
Alright, yeah uh huh, well I know what you need
In my life, there are so many questions and answers that somehow seem wrong
When the moon is in the seventh house
The samples won't delay, but the cable
Some say now suffer all the children and walk away a savior
Once it started, frail and faint-hearted
Stealing away into the night
I tell you how I feel but you don't care.


---
Wow... that's depressing...

I am so nervous about tomorrow. I have a wretched pit in my stomach, and I am just so tense that a 300-pound Hungarian masseuse couldn't get me to relax. (Trust me, I've tried. Kidding.)

Just a few hours ago, Liz went down to the social security office to become Mrs. Elizabeth Anne Blau. And a few hours from now, Prop 8 could very well pass and leave us with...what, exactly? I assumed our marriage would be canceled due to the text of the prop itself (only man/woman marriage is recognized or valid). HOWEVER, the attorney general disagrees, as do about half of the legal scholars/constitutional experts I've read about.

Either way, though, I'm terrified not only for myself but for my gay brothers and sisters. I keep hearing we're down in the polls, but then I'm not sure! I see more cars with "Yes" stickers and more houses, but it seemed like more people were honking at the "No" side during the protest I attended yesterday. And why do I hear that we ARE down in the polls when the last three polls had these results:


Date of opinion poll Conducted By Size In favor Against Undecided Margin of Error
29–31 October 2008[114]SurveyUSA 637 47% 50% 3% ±4%
18–28 October 2008[115]The Field Poll 966 44% 49% 7% ±3.3%
12–19 October 2008[116]PPI of CA 1,186 44% 52% 4%


So.... I don't really know what's happening. But I don't know how I'll be able to concentrate at all at work tomorrow. :(

PLEASE CA Voters, HELP US DEFEAT THIS. I know my LJ probably just has all liberal, gay-friendly friends (if not, why are you friends with me?), but I do want to remind you to GET YOUR ASS TO THOSE POLLS tomorrow!

And thank you to everyone who has been working so hard to help try to bring this down. Especially Leif! The sweetest Swede ever who has stolen 54 "Yes" signs, ladies and gents.

Oh, and if you want me to influence your opinion a bit more, vote YES on 1A, YES on 2, and NO on 4. The rest I still have to read about tonight!

We can do this...I hope....

Current Mood: crappy

Wedding stress = killing self. Parents can be very overwhelming sometimes...

Current Mood: aggravated

I think I'm getting married in four months to the day. Details to follow.

Current Mood: cheerful

I just want people to mind their own fucking business.
If we want your advice, we'll gladly ask for it.

Namely, people trying to butt in about my job situation and the fact that we're debating moving out of state since California continues to get more and more ridiculously expensive.

I love SF, but I don't want to rent for the rest of my life. It seems ridiculous that SF is 4 times the price of housing markets in other cool places, but yet only pays 15% more salary. Hmmm.

I'm just really ready for a house... and the job situation is getting me down. While it seems there would be less opportunities in other states, I think the competition is a lot less fierce. It might be easier to get a better job in another state, work there for 5 years or so, and then come back to SF with some experience. If CA hasn't completely gone down the shitter by then.

Meh. We'll see. So depressing, and such a pain in the ass.

On a random note, have any of you been to Portland? It's up for consideration, although we haven't been there yet. But your opinions (about Portland) would be greatly appreciated!

Current Mood: annoyed

Seems like I've been real big on the LJ games lately... ah well, here's another one. My letter from the wonderful Courtney was D.

- Comment and I'll give you a letter.
- You have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter.
- Afterwards, post this in your journal.


1) Dr. Pepper. It's my favorite soft drink, bar none, but I haven't had much of it lately since I'm trying to limit my caffeine intake. I get wicked headaches and they've lessened considerably without drinking soda all the time.

2) Didgeridoos. They make amazingly silly noises, and practically no one knows how to play them.

3) Diners, but I'm mostly referring to cheesy 24 hour ones. I loved Earl's when I lived in SoCal, and now it's all about this place in Castro called Orphan Andy's. There are plenty of friendly servers and they make a MEAN root beer float.

4) Doberman Pinschers. I'm not usually a fan of large dogs, but I've always thought these were beautiful, intelligent animals that don't deserve their bad rap.

5) Dance Dance Revolution. I remember a time when I could only complete level 3's on DDR. Ah, memories...

6) Dahl, Roald. Loved him as a child, love him even more with his very creepy adult stories. He's definitely a big inspiration for me as a writer.

7) the Disinformation series. Nearly every book in this line has given me thought-provoking, unusual info that's hard to find anywhere else. Some are better than others ("Little Earth Book" is a total snooze), but many are incredibly interesting.

8) Degrassi. Because the problems of Canadian teenagers are far more interesting than the problems of U.S. ones.

9) Drums. I used to really want a drum set... until I discovered how hard it is to play. Still, I really admire drummers... and I'm planning on buying a cheap pair of bongos just because they're fun.

10) The Decemberists. An amazing band, all in all. In fact, there are lots of great bands that start with D: Dresden Dolls, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran...

Current Mood: chipper

so you have to help me decide if amy winehouse is hot or not. because sometimes i think she is and sometimes i think she looks like a second-rate toe' up kat von d.

(to view): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFVM5pVTwkM

either way, she's got some nice tits. ;)

Current Mood: satisfied

god, my eyes burn horribly. they have that awful sandpaper-y crying feeling even though i haven't cried at all today. it's random, i know.

i'm supposed to be doing my paper but i can't seem to find the motivation. it's not like i have a reason NOT to do it right now, as i'm doing bumshit nothing. but i can't bring myself to write it. and this makes me feel guilty like damn and like i'm a horrible person for not taking advantage of all this free time.

i can't do much of anything because i am SO STRESSED about moving!!! i just want to BE THERE, already. the stress is all the shit that i know i have to do and cannot actually do. like selling my car... i can't really do that until the end of may (because i still need it for school) but it's a huge anxiety thing because i don't know how much money i can sell it for. and i'd like to have knowledge of all my money stuff before we go. plus i have to order new carpool stickers and get some new bumpers, new paint to max the value. it's all too much, i tell ye.

yesterday was fun, though. liz and i went to san diego for the day and spent a few hours just walking around exploring the hillcrest area. we even went to a cheese shop (because i'm weird and love cheese). after that, it was time for our reservation at this restaurant called chive. it was amazingly delicious. they have a "small plates" menu so you can order a few different things. i had a greens salad and beet terrine, and liz and i split feta fries. she had some asian mushroom ravioli thing and the greens salad as well. FUCKING DELICIOUS! dessert was great as well. i'd recommend that place to anyone... i'd like to go back before we move. we'll see though, since it's kinda fancy.

i wish liz wasn't working. i'm kinda bored and hungry. another hour or two though. LAME.

i need $$$. at least i don't have to pay any taxes this year. i'm actually getting a whopping $86 back. hey, every bit helps the insanely expensive san francisco fund (mostly due to me having to break my lease, ouch!). i just hope i can get a decent job right away.

anyway, i've bored you all long enough. ta.

Current Mood: hungry

i hate my job and i want a new one. but i don't, because i'm so lazy and so picky and feel it's probably better to at least stick this one out until i get back from vacation. still, i took two days off of work this week (hey, i WAS sick...for part of the time) and am not looking forward to going back tomorrow.

i called some place i saw an ad on craigslist for that pays $30 an hour to basically assist with screencasting. not bad, right? i'm not anticipating getting the job at all. (they weren't even there, which is kinda to be expected at 6pm). but really, i'm not qualified at all. can't hurt to try though.

not looking forward to next semester with 5 lovely classes that are not interesting in the least.

(can you tell i'm in a bad mood, sort of?)

oh well. tonight'll still be decent after liz gets here. i'm just cranky right now.

Current Mood: pessimistic

blah. i have to get my car serviced on saturday and i wish i could put it off longer. so now i'm sitting here waiting for some guy to call me back about doing it on saturday. yeah, 5-10 minutes my arse. i don't want to go to the dealer b/c it's expensive as hell. although this isn't going to be a cheap visit, probably, because the last time i got my oil changed they said i needed new transmission fluid, or something. i hate cars. i don't know.

this is far too boring for any of you to continue reading.

Good evening, kids. Want to hear about my most awesome essay ever? Yeah, well, we had 15 choices of topics, but i picked the one where we had to write a response to a sonnet by Robert Frost. IN THE FORM OF ANOTHER SONNET. Yeah, awesome, right? (for me it is). And then we had to write a few pages of elaborating which isn't as exciting, but i'm still proud of the work i put in for the sonnet. Damn iambic pentameter.

Oh, and if you're curious, i'm responding to Frost's "Unharvested."

Mine's called "Gathering the Crops."

------
The wallet found on streets is not returned,
Alaskan habitats are drilled for oil.
The mighty trees of yesteryear get burned
So new houses can build atop the soil.

The codependent, when newly in love,
Is a tapeworm consuming energy.
Politicians are vultures more than doves,
For profits, they kill thousands overseas.

There's nothing now that goes unharvested
Because the modern man loves to exploit.
Whereas it's too hard to keep the poor fed,
In plundering times, man becomes adroit.

Why bury treasure in the countryside?
Bastards will unearth what you try to hide.

Current Mood: accomplished

thank god. after hours fucking around with it, i've finally figured out how to record music onto my computer through my lovely new toy (a line 6 toneport ux2, if you're an audio geek).

of course, i haven't figured out EVERYTHING. as in, i haven't yet hooked up two instruments and a mic and recorded that way, i've only recorded via a microphone. still, at least sound is coming out now, as opposed to two hours ago when nothing was happening.

(i KNEW an amp had to be involved somewhere. lousy people marketing their product with lies.)

and now you think to yourself, "but angie doesn't sing! what glorious goodness could possibly get recorded onto her computer?"

IT'S A RAP. specifically, the betsy rap. and i added royalty-free loops to it. it's sure to be a hot mix. or not. once i figure out how to convert this shit to mp3 though, watch out.

the longest survey ever ever.


(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

a collection of the latest, most dreadful things in the united states. conveniently summarized and commented on for you, with links if you care for the full length story.

<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12777489/>
U.S. military troops with severe psychological problems have been sent to Iraq or kept in combat, even when superiors have been aware of signs of mental illness, a newspaper reported for Sunday editions....Twenty-two U.S. troops committed suicide in Iraq last year, accounting for nearly one in five of all non-combat deaths and was the highest suicide rate since the war started, the newspaper said....Although Defense Department standards for enlistment disqualify recruits who suffer “persistent post-traumatic symptoms,” the military also is redeploying service members to Iraq who fit that criteria, the newspaper said.
----
oh, there's a WONDERFUL idea. let's send people with PTSD back into war. then when the enemies attack, they can stand in the corner and shit their pants! that's REALLY going to help a lot. why are we treating these people like commodities? i'm against the war, but if you want to continue this ridiculous charade, at least show respect for the people who have tried but just can't take it any more. jesus christ.


<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12742801/>
The long-dormant idea of teaching public school students about the literary and historic importance of the Bible is getting a fresh look this year from state legislatures and local school boards — though with political bickering and questions about what should be included...
Overall, the group says school districts in 37 states with 1,250 high schools use its curriculum...Both efforts pursue an opening created by the U.S. Supreme Court. In a notable 1963 ruling, the court banned ceremonial Bible readings in public schools but allowed “objective” study of the text in a manner divorced from belief...Last month, Georgia’s Gov. Sonny Perdue signed a law that sanctions but doesn’t require Bible courses, and directs the state education department to pick a curriculum by February. Legislators are mulling similar proposals in Missouri, Tennessee and Alabama.
----
yeah, just what the country needs: more right-wing religion. i find it really, really fucking impossible to think that this is going to be taught "objectively." and why the bible? why don't we have some survey of the literary and historic importance of, you know, ANY OTHER FUCKING RELIGIOUS TEXT? but no, the bible, because that's the obviously true one, right? yeah, so true it says that insects have four legs (see leviticus) and the world is flat (see a shitload of verses that i'm too tired to look for).


<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12761282/>
An Alameda County superior court judge has granted a preliminary injunction suspending California's high school exit exam for the class of 2006, potentially allowing thousands of students who have failed the test to graduate...Judge Robert Freedman said he was persuaded by the arguments of the plaintiffs, 10 students who claimed the exit exam discriminates against poor students and those who are learning English. "There is evidence in the record that shows that students in economically challenged communities have not had an equal opportunity to learn the materials tested on the (California High School Exit Examination)," Freedman wrote.
----
now, normally i don't care for standardized testing, but have you heard of how unbelievably easy this test is? YOU NEED 8TH GRADE MATH/READING SKILLS. i fail to see how that discriminates against the poor kids. the poor kids i'm sure have at least learned 8th grade skills BY THE TIME THEY ARE SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!! how can even the poorest crap-ass school not be teaching these things? if you ask me, teachers need to spend a lot less time asking kids how fractions make them feel and more time actually teaching them the damn things. trust me, people, you need this test. i go to school with the people who DIDN'T have to take this, and they don't even know what a fucking noun is. and if you don't know english well enough to take the test, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN MY COLLEGE. learn it better, and then come back. i'm sorry, but it's true. if i went to school in japan, i'd bust my ass and learn japanese and not sit back and whine that i can't pass some exam because i didn't learn japanese. do your goddamn work.


<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12743945/>
Democratic Party chairman Howard Dean mischaracterized his party's platform on gay rights in an interview courting evangelicals, then set the record straight Thursday when an advocacy group called him on it. Dean told Christian Broadcasting Network News that the 2004 Democratic platform declares "marriage is between a man and a woman" — just one of the points he made in reaching out to religious conservatives who are largely hostile to the party. But the platform does not define marriage that way, and his remarks prompted the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to return a $5,000 donation from the Democratic National Committee. [The real platform] asserted: "We support full inclusion of gay and lesbian families in the life of our nation and seek equal responsibilities, benefits and protections for these families."
----
how can you be so fucking stupid that you forget what your own party platform says? just about drops you down to bush country with that comment. but more importantly, why the hell are you going after voters ON THE PAT ROBERTSON NETWORK? they are NEVER EVER EVER going to vote democrat. what a fucking waste of time. these are people who listen to men that say that hurricane katrina was to punish the fags and the purple teletubby is gay and "harry potter" is satan. why don't you try to create an energy plan or do something productive instead of trying to get some votes THAT WILL NEVER FUCKING COME TO YOU?!?!?

_______________________
the world sucks today.

Current Mood: irate

i've been on this huge kick on researching christianity lately, mostly because i'm really annoyed by everyone who claims that it's the "one true religion" and all that crap. i could talk about a bunch of things i've learned but...here's the most interesting...

THERE ARE BASICALLY NO VERSES IN THE BIBLE TO BE USED BY A "MODERN" CHRISTIAN TO CONDEMN HOMOSEXUALITY.

now, you're probably thinking "of course there are." but in actuality, nope.

anything under the old testament is considered irrelevant if you are saved in jesus. it's the "law" that was broken when jesus supposedly came, blah blah. so we can throw out all those verses. otherwise, menstruating women have to go sit in special huts, no one can wear cotton-poly blends, and god forbid you eat a rabbit or shellfish.

all the new testament verses that (supposedly) directly address homosexuality were written by paul. why is this important? because paul says that what he writes IS NOT INSPIRED BY GOD. it's information that HE REGARDS TO BE SIGNIFICANT. not something that god told him.

look at this:

1 Corinthians 7:12

"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away."

and this...

1 Corinthians 7:25

"Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful."

and let's not forget this...
2 Corinthians 11:17

"That which I speak, I speak it not after the Lord, but as it were foolishly, in this confidence of boasting."

also, people forget that paul was writing specifically to different churches. the message was never intended for all believers, which is why each book he wrote has a unique twist to it.

so everything that paul says, basically, is his own opinion. now there are other verses scattered around about "sexual immorality," but that could be anything.

there's no direct refutation of being gay.

join me next week when i prove there is no god.

(just kidding on that last one.)

guess where i'm going right now? (well, in about 5 minutes or so).

somewhere cool?

...no.

somewhere mildly entertaining?

...hmmm, no.

a church service which will be startingly awkward because i hate church?

OF COURSE!

today's the day of my niece's baptism. as much as i dislike organized religion, baptism seems one of the silliest, most unnecessary facets that i have no support of whatsoever. let me clarify by saying i'm referring to BABY baptism. i could care less what adults do, since they're old enough to make their own choices. but forcing some stupid rite on a kid just to "prevent it from going to hell if it dies" is totally ridiculous. i'm sure if there was a god, he/she would allow EVERY dead kid up into heaven. because that's just stupidity, otherwise. why would you blame the child for something they have no control over? it's crazy, really.

and besides all that, there's some "after party" that i have no desire to go to at all. i think i'm just going to skip that, because i have to do an (excitingly, luckily short) anthropology assignment.

spring break went way too damn fast...

Current Mood: cranky

can i just say once more that it is too FUCKING crazy that both liz and dexter found out the names of their birth-fathers yesterday (3/20)?

i think my head is about to explode from all this excitement.

maybe i should go on a hunt for my elusive half-brother? the stars seem promising...

Current Mood: giddy

What If

If you could change your name, what you would change it to: riley.

If you could drive any car you wanted for a week what would you pick: i'm sticking with my civic. fuck gas prices.

If you could throw out anything of roommates what would it be: live alone...

If you could have any job for a month, what would you do: be an editor. let's hope that pans out.

You...

What are your nicknames: ang, newbie

Who gave these names to you: i think the first one was my grandpa? second one definitely marlene.

What are your pet peeves: republicans, college age idiots, etc.

What is your favorite type of pen to write with: one with plasma around it since i grip my pens way too fucking hard.

What was the last picture you coloured with crayons: ahaha it was the el cholo kids' menu!

How much time do you spend online: probably like 2 hours a day altogether. sad.

What do you do during this time: myspace and LJ

Do you sing in the shower: not so much in the shower as in the car.

If so, What kind of songs do you sing: whatever i'm listening to at the time.

Favorites...

What's your favorite movie: "heavenly creatures"

Whats your favorite song: too many to list...

What's Your favorite movie quote: "it's sort of like heaven, only better 'cause there aren't any christians" OR "god bless you, penis"

Who's Your favorite Band: maybe bikini kill? i have a lot...

Who's Your favorite Singer: morrissey

Whats your favorite Flower: i like roses and orchids.

What is your favorite language other than English: italiano.

Why? 'cause it's freaking gorgeous and reminds me of my grandma.

White Gold, Yellow Gold, or Platinum: platinum. i don't like the gold much.

White, Dark, or Milk Chocolate: white chocolate or milk.

Red, white, yello, pink, or purple roses: red is the romance one, so that one.

Random...

How much sleep do you get at night: 6-7 hours.

Whats your Favorite TV show of ALL time: i really like "drawn together" because it just breaks any sense of propriety whatsoever.

If you were to pass away tomorrow, what would people say about you: "she knew too many random facts."

What is your weirdest Quirk: all OCD-related things (is the cat in the fridge? let me check my alarm clock 25 times. and so on...)

How long does it normally take you to get ready in the morning: about 35-40 minutes depending on how curly my hair is trying to be.

Do you read any magazines: bitch, bust, mental floss, scientific american mind, but i don't subscribe to any.

Do you remember School House rock: yes.

Who is your hero: nellie bly.

Who would you like to meet: morrissey.

If you could fight anyone, dead or alive, who would it be: i'd massacre this girl i hate.

What celebrity is on the top of your list: rachael stirling, rachel shelley, kate winslet, catherine zeta-jones, jenny lewis, milla jovovich.

Do you feel that you know more about yourself having finished this survey? no, but it wasted time before i have to leave for school.


---
well, now i have to leave.
and give a speech on expatriates. wish me luck!

Current Mood: anxious

i hope...

... that i pass all these classes
... that i can finish my BA by 2007
... that i don't get utterly fucked with taxes
... that liz finds her bio-dad
... that my dad quits drinking
... that my mom stops being judgmental
... that i can take furvis (the stray cat) to animal avengers soon
... that i'll write a great american novel
... that my next job will actually have something to do with my career instead of pointless retail bullshit
... that ____ becomes miserable soon
... that ____ ____ ____ [you fill in the blanks]
... that i stop thinking about some of these and focus on actually doing them.

Current Mood: contemplative

so spring break is next week. i desperately wanted to do something, but apparently that's not going to happen because (a) i have too much damn homework the week after and (b) it's not even liz's spring break, so it's not like we could go anywhere together. argh. guess sleeping in until like, 10 is as fun as it's going to get for me.

because of spring break, that means that this week is CRACKDOWN WEEK. i've got 2 essays due (already done) and 3 tests. and i have to give a speech for my stupid american lit class about expatriates. that'll be fun. (insert sarcasm here.)

i'm damn tired of having no money though. i spent all my extraneous money this week on black ink for my printer because it wouldn't print anything at all. i just want to find out what's happening with my taxes so i can know if i can do fun things like get a gym membership, get a disneyland pass, etc.

whine, whine, whine.

i'm just especially burnt out this semester. but things are decent.

Current Mood: okay